Darla Stewart MacGregor

Darla sat at her gray desk wondering “What have I done this time? My whole life has been a series of choices that I thought were the right thing to do at the time!” As she grew up, there were influences and circumstances that were stacked against her: the financial chaos that followed the Great Depression, and struggling, uneducated parents who thought they were doing what was best for their children. Her daddy, Harold was part of a dysfunctional Texas family some people might call “hicks”, and that was probably true. For some reason, his own father, John took out his anger and frustrations on Darla’s dad, coming at his rebellious teenage son with a butcher knife.

“Harry” was a free spirit wanting to be respected and understood, something his family never gave him. Harry and his siblings were bright and unique but were all intimidated by their domineering father. Their docile mother just stood by detached and afraid, not knowing how to help her children. Darla’s mom didn't have it any easier, because Margaret’s mom, Joyce was strict and cold, and her dad, Leon was always off doing his own narcissistic thing. Joyce never considered her husband to be the driving force of the marriage. She was! Teenaged Margaret fell in love and married Edward whose last name, McDougal, was the same as hers, though unrelated. He promptly left her when they found out she was pregnant, later giving birth to a little baby girl. Finding out about his cheating ways, her mother, Joyce insisted that she divorce Edward, which made it difficult for Margaret. For if people didn't know the circumstances, they would assume that she was an unwed mother; back in the early 30s that was shameful, and the gossips would have a field day.

Just before World War II, Harry was working in construction but had to take a job on the railroad as a switchman to support his family. That was back in the days before computerized train coupling mechanisms, so this occupation was extremely hazardous. He met Margaret's brother, Andrew who was the Station Master at Union Pacific’s New Mexico office. Harry and Margaret became best friends, and on several occasions, Harry was invited to come over for supper at Joyce and Leon's home. What started out as a friendship blossomed into a deep love, and Harry and Margaret soon married. Harry adored little Joanna, Margaret's four-year-old daughter and treated her as his own. Six years later Ronald was born, followed by Darla, and finally Daniel. 

Darla's earliest memory was a broken nose at three years old, and by the time she started kindergarten a semester early — one less child for her overworked mother to manage — she had already learned to make herself easy to overlook. The family moved constantly, chasing her father's work from town to town, until her mother finally put her foot down once they landed in Alhambra: the kids would stay in the same schools until they graduated, no matter what.

At fifteen, Darla had her first kiss. At sixteen, she gave her senior piano recital after ten years with the same teacher. At seventeen, she graduated high school a full year ahead of her class, still the youngest in every room she ever walked into. A year of Christian college followed, then a job at an insurance company, then a bank — and, before any of that, a broken engagement to a young man she never once let explain his side of things, a decision she wouldn't understand the real weight of until many years later.

She married young, raised two children she loved fiercely, and spent the better part of two decades learning, piece by piece, exactly how much a marriage can hide behind the appearance of an ordinary one. What came after — the moves, the choices she'd spend a lifetime making peace with, the people who came and went, and the long, uneven climb back to steady ground — is the story the rest of this novel tells one dream at a time.

For most of her life, Darla never knew that anyone was watching hers. That's the part of this story that changes everything.